Dating Secrets by Tony Sanders

The other day, I came across a new guide that I had never seen before. It's not uncommon to find new guides in this field – after all there are a lot of guys who find new ways to be successful with women. But, it's rare for one of them to actually catch my attention like this. 
It's called Dating Secrets by Tony Sanders and it's a pretty hefty new tome about how to meet, talk to and pick up women using some fairly basic tactics. Based around the whole "confidence" aspect and eschewing any tricks that can create a break between men and the women they're trying to meet, this guide is written for the absolute newcomer to dating. 

How Dating Secrets by Tony Sanders Stands Out

Most of the dating guides out there are written for guys who have the balls to step up and be very direct with women. For any guy that's new to this, you know how hard that can be. So, Dating Secrets by Tony Sanders takes a slightly different tact.
In the end, the guide still has you going up to women and potentially making a fool of yourself, but it does so in a very different way – focusing heavily on how you prepare yourself, and hopefully attract her to you.

Does it Work?

The big question is whether Dating Secrets by Tony Sanders actually works. Of course, it will depend on a lot of factors. How willing are you to improvise and develop your own lines? How conversational are you? How open are you? For sure, you'll need to practice a lot, because success with this guide depends on being able to approach a woman, talk to her, and not care what she says back (unless it's good). 
If you're completely new to pick up artistry, this is one of those initial, upfront tomes you should have in front of you. It's not only fantastic for helping you to build your confidence and game; it's unique enough to help you stand out from all the other guys doing the exact same thing with other products. 

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Dating Secrets Guide

I recently ran across the new Dating Secrets guide, by Tony Sanders and since it's getting quite a bit of attention out there right now, I wanted to run through what my initial impressions were. I have not yet read the book, but I have gone through the contents and reviewed some other articles and thus far stand very impressed by what I see.
What does the Dating Secrets guide offer that so few newcomers to this game offer? First up, we get a writer who really seems to have run the gauntlet of failure before reaching the big time. His name is Tony Sanders and he's a former and future video game writer (lots of Warcraft and Farmville stuff). That hasn't stopped him from branching out and studying the secrets of dating with his Dating Secrets guide, however.

What the Dating Secrets Guide Has to Offer

A quick look inside the Dating Secrets Guide will show you that Tony wasn't sitting idle between his gaming guides. He's put together dozens of strategies, starting from the basics of just "understanding women". From there, he's expanded, covering things like communication basics, body language, inner game (to a small degree), how to talk to women, how to meet women, and more. 

The best part from my initial impressions of the Dating Secrets guide however were the last few sections about actually talking to a woman, then going on a date (and dating her in the future). Future dating tips are almost always missing from these kinds of guides, and at the end you have a nice guide to intimacy during or after that first date. 

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that this Dating Secrets guide looks pretty good. It's got a lot of solid, well written information. Tony has definitely done his research, and in the process created an exciting new product that will likely have newcomers to PUA talking for some time. 

Full Disclosure: I am an affiliate for Dating Secrets and make money when a guide is purchased. 

Exciting Ways to be More Interesting

So you're having trouble meeting women. You're certainly not alone. While that may be a comforting thought to a certain extent – i.e. I'm not a total loser then – it also means that you've got some competition out there. You've got to find a way to set yourself apart from every other lonely guy out there if you're really going to have a shot at meeting and getting to know a woman.

How to Be Memorable

Sure a hot guy is going to stand out in a woman's mind. But to be honest, women can look at hot guys anytime they want to – on TV, in magazines, or even just walking down the street. Even the hottest guy out there isn't much more than eye candy, though, if nothing comes out when they open their mouth.
If you really want to make a good impression on a woman, or really any impression for that matter, you need to have something of substance to contribute to the conversation. Telling the same tired old stories about high school sports or college shenanigans might be the easiest way to go, but it's not going to help you stand out from the crowd. 
What you really need is to be able to share something about yourself that will make the woman stop and take a closer look at you (but not in a creepy way, of course). Basically, you have to be interesting.

Acquiring an Interest

So how do you magically transform yourself into a more interesting person? There are several ways, really, but one is to simply pick up a new hobby or social activity. Take a class, join a book club, volunteer at the local homeless shelter. That way when you're talking to a woman, you'll actually have something interesting to tell her about yourself.
And just when you thought it couldn't get better – these types of activities are actually a great way to meet women too. They provide instant context, making conversations easier to start and giving the impression that you already have a lot in common. 
They also make it easier to draw out the introduction process because you'll have a guaranteed number of group interactions. This can take a little of the pressure off because you'll have more than one shot at making that great and lasting impression. Just don't put off making your move for too long or you could very easily miss your chance. 

How to Improve Yourself to be More Attractive to Women

Sure there are lots of techniques that can help you talk to women more comfortably and effectively. But what if they're just plain not interested. Let's face it, a confident demeanor and a charming wit will go only so far. You may even be able to make a lot of female friends armed with those tools. But if that physical sexual attractiveness just isn't there, you may have to simply do something about your appearance.

Get in Shape

Now no one's saying you need to be a body builder. In fact, most women don't really find that look all that attractive. You should be in decent shape, though, if you're trying to attract someone of the finer sex. 
On top of the fact that it just plain looks better, being in shape sends the message that you care about your appearance and have a decent amount of self-respect. In other words, it tells the women out there that you're not a slob. You wouldn't take a woman to your apartment without cleaning and organizing it first, would you? Then why would you present that same kind of sloppy appearance in public.

Keep Tidy

Along the same lines, you should make sure that your clothes are stylish, that they fit right, and that they're well maintained. No one's going to go for the guy with his ten year old flannel half tucked into his holey jeans. You don't have to go out and buy all the latest fashions, but make sure you have some clothes to wear out that flatter you and present the right image. 
Plus, wearing these types of clothes will make you feel better about yourself. You'll come across as more confident, and that's always a selling point with the ladies.

Keep Your Cool

One sure fire way to turn women off is by seeming too needy or clingy. Don't throw yourself all over them and try to talk them into dating you. It's pretty easy to see why that's not going to work. The problem is that you may not be aware that you're doing it.
You need to refine your approach so that you're both approachable to women and slightly mysterious. Don't put it all out there or you'll be written off easily as one or another type of guy. If a woman can't automatically categorize you, she'll be much more likely to keep a conversation going and actually get to know you a bit. 

Dating Secrets Review

It's been a while since I've sat down to do this, but I wanted to get my Dating Secrets review up and running as soon as possible because there are a lot of people out there asking about it. So, what's the deal with Dating Secrets? Is it really a top new guide on the market, or is it yet another pale imitation?

Dating Secrets Review Highlights

Let's start with the good stuff. Dating Secrets comes from Tony Sanders, a self-prescribed "reformed" nerd who has since gone on to become quite the ladies' man. His story is one we're all familiar with – the long years of complete failure finally capped by a rush to understand women, and ultimately learn how to meet them in any setting.
By the looks of this guide, I'd say Sanders succeeded, because it is written with all the PUA staples, plus quite a few nuggets of gold from his own life. These days, you pretty much have to expect to hear about inner game, body language, changing her state, and all the other buzz words of the pickup. 

But, Tony Sanders sticks to mostly tangible, real world issues that guys can relate to (something a lot of pickup artists stumble on as they get deeper into their game). It's pretty much the guide for any guy who doesn't feel comfortable with the heavy duty, thickly laid "pickup" tactics that so many of the top-end guys are using. 

Dating Secrets Review Caveats

Of course, because of that down-to-earth style of writing, Dating Secrets isn't the perfect guide if your only goal is to meet women, have sex with them, and then meet more women. This is a guide for men who want to better understand and then date women. 
Of course, as most PUAs will tell you, having these tactics in hand will make the sex and dating part much easier.

Bottom Line

There are a lot of Dating Secrets review writers out there, and most of them will tell you the same thing. If you're just getting started at overhauling your dating strategies, Dating Secrets is a great place to start. 

Full Disclosure: I am an affiliate for Dating Secrets and make money when a guide is purchased. 

Reasons She Isn’t Interested and How to Counter

So, you go out and meet a woman, get her number, wait the appropriate amount of time to call, and then never hear back. Or better yet, the number isn't hers. If this sounds all too familiar to you, it's because it happens to tons of guys every day. For one reason or another, a girl just isn't interested in getting to know them at all after the initial encounter.
So why don't they give you a chance? Actually it could be one of many reasons. Of course, sometimes a woman just isn't right for you and her lack of interest will tell you that. Other times, though, the lack of interest may be a result of something that you can change.

Appearance

A woman may not be interested in you based solely on your appearance. This doesn't mean you don't have what it takes to be attractive to that kind of woman. You just need to know how to use what you got. Hit the gym, invest in a new wardrobe, maybe even add (or subtract) the facial hair. Altering your appearance in any of these ways can help to increase your natural physical appeal.

Intellect

You have to remember that going up to a woman that you've just met doesn't all need to be about dating and relationships and setting up a time to get together. If you can engage in actual conversation and show the woman that you actually think about things besides picking up women, you'll be able to get her attention much more effectively. 
Keep up on current events, read a book, or even just keep a list of conversation topics handy. Also, practice paying attention to what she's talking about so that you know what subject areas she might be interested in. 

Don't Hesitate

If you see a woman you're interested in, either go up to her or don't. But whatever you do, don't stare. More often than not, the woman (or one of her friends) will notice you gawking and she'll write you off before you even had a chance to introduce yourself. 
Also, making a quick approach exudes confidence, something that is definitely attractive to women. And best of all, it doesn't give you time to overthink the whole think and psych yourself out. There's certainly something to be said for being prepared before you approach a woman you're interested in, but that preparation shouldn't come while you're standing behind her in line at the bank. Get ready ahead of time so that when an opportunity presents itself you can make a good first impression. 

Three Things to Never Say to a Woman You Just Met

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Five Mistakes Men Make With Women

Ever feel like the dating scene is just a minefield and you have your foot right smack on top of one all the time? This is a pretty common feeling, believe me. I mean, if it wasn't there wouldn't be so many tips and tricks for helping you to navigate it. The truth is that most men just make a lot of the same mistakes with women over and over again.
If you've had trouble meeting women or keeping them interested, chances are you're making some of these very same mistakes too. It might start to seem that women only like one kind of guy. The truth is, though, that most women don't really know exactly what they want. They just know what they don't want.

Mistake #1: Being too Macho

Sure a strong male is attractive to a woman, but if she thinks that's all there is to you, you're probably not going to get anywhere. And really, the fact that a guy can carry on an intelligent conversation is a lot more important than how many other guys he can beat up, so keep the bravado to a minimum.

Mistake #2: Trying too Hard

A woman's either going to like you or she's not. Trying too hard and pleading your case isn't going to help you one bit. In fact, it will likely turn off any other woman within earshot as well. Be yourself and move on if she's not interested.

Mistake #3: A Woman Is Not a Possession

There are certainly times when a woman likes to feel supported and protected by her man, but that doesn't mean she'll ever want you to treat her like you own her. It's all too common for men to fall into this trap and it's a sure fire way to cause friction in the relationship.

Mistake #4: Trying to Buy Your Way

While buying a woman a drink is the classic pickup, it actually doesn't work that well for most guys nowadays. Gender roles being what they are today, you're always going to be running the risk that you'll offend a modern woman by trying to pick up the tab for her cocktail. Also, trying to buy her things will often just come off as trying to buy your way into her affections – something that's neither attractive nor necessary.

Mistake #5: Not Listening

With all of the other things you're trying to remember to do and not do when you meet a woman, it can be pretty easy to make the classic mistake of not actually listening to a word she's saying. That can come back to bite you big time, though. First of all, it's usually pretty obvious if your attention is elsewhere. Also, you'll have a much easier time keeping the conversation going (and starting future conversations) if you pay attention to what she's telling you about herself.

What to Say When You Call Her Back

Scoring a girl's number is a huge deal in and of itself. But getting her number won't do you much good unless you can do something with it. And that means making that phone call. The first phone call to a girl can be pretty stressful, and there are certainly plenty of ways you can screw it up (believe me - I've done it many times). With a little bit of preparation, though, you'll be able to get through the call just fine. 

When to Call

The first thing most guys worry about when they get a girl's number is how long they should wait to call. There are all kinds of theories floating around out there about exactly what the proper waiting time is, but really you should go by the signals the girl was giving you. 
Basically, if the girl was playing it cool and hard to get, then you'll probably be better off waiting two or three days to call. If she was friendly and open, on the other hand, calling the next day is fine. Probably shoot for some time in the evening when most people are home from work but not too late that it seems creepy or weird. 

Prepare Yourself

Always, always, always have a clear idea of what you're going to say to a girl before you dial that number. There's nothing worse than finally getting up the nerve to call, only to have your mind go blank the minute she picks up the phone. Take some time to collect your thoughts and come up with a game plan for your call.
Writing down some notes that you can refer to during the call is a good idea – if only because it gives you the peace of mind that you have something to fall back on. Don't write up a whole speech and read off of it though. That's a great way to come off sounding completely awkward.

Be Funny but to the Point

Working humor into your first phone call with a girl can be a huge plus for you. Just be careful not to focus only on being funny. What you really want to accomplish with this phone call is to set up a date and the more you drag out the phone call, the greater potential there is for awkwardness or misunderstandings. 
Phone calls definitely serve a purpose, but they have limitations too. You can't see each other's faces or body language during a phone call, and that makes it more likely that something you say could be misinterpreted by a girl who doesn't know you that well yet. Keep your phone call light and easy and get to the point as quickly as possible. Arrange a face to face meeting so that you'll have a better chance of building a rapport.

Where to Meet Women Other Than Clubs

According to popular wisdom, clubs are the place to go to meet women. After all, what better place to go than a club where groups of women go to hang out with their friends and have a good time? The only problem is that most women don't actually like meeting guys in clubs.
Clubs are loud and there's usually plenty of alcohol involved and both of these are situations that make women distrustful of the men they run into. No matter how nice, polite, well dressed and attractive you are, you're probably still going to have a lot of trouble getting a phone number or striking up a conversation (if for no other reason than you just can't hear each other). 
Plus, since clubs are where everyone goes, you're going to run into all kinds of competition. But where do you go to meet women if clubs aren't an option? Actually, there are a lot of good places to try.

Around Town

Just about everywhere you go to run errands can be a good place to meet women. You just have to shift your approach a little. Take the grocery store, for instance. These are generally packed full of women and they're not likely to have their guard up like they would in a traditional social setting. 
A quippy line or help reaching something on the top shelf are both great ways to break the ice and ease your way into a conversation. Plus, just presenting yourself as a man who isn't afraid of doing the grocery shopping can be a turn on. The same thing works at the bank or the post office too. You just have to be tuned into any opportunity to start a conversation or get her attention.

Classes

Another great way to meet women is to sign up for a class or book group at a community center. This kind of social setting is perfect for getting to know people because it automatically gives you something to talk about. It also almost guarantees you multiple opportunities to talk to a woman you might be interested in, taking some of the pressure off and making it easier to not come on too strong.
Things like cooking and language classes are especially good options because they can give you an excuse to get together for study or practice sessions outside of class. Just be sure you actually have some interest in the subject being covered in the class. You'll enjoy yourself a lot more and the authenticity of your interest will be obvious. 

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Creating Rapport as Soon as You Meet a Woman

Dating is no fun – at least 90% of the time. Figuring out how to meet a woman, how to ask her out, and then how to get through the first date and on to the second can seem like insurmountable hurdles. Especially if you've tripped over these hurdles a few times, you're probably wondering how in the world you'll ever be able to get through these first few challenges and on to the rest of the race.
You can try all kinds of tip and techniques for talking to women. There are certainly plenty of them out there, and a lot of them even work if you can pull them off. But they all really come down to one fundamental thing. And that's building a rapport with a woman when you meet her. If you can do that, you'll be in good shape from the start of the race. That doesn't mean you'll win it, though.

First Impression

Whether we like it or not, the first impression we give a woman will have long-lasting implications. It can even turn them off entirely. That's not to say that a bad first impression can't be overcome. It certainly can, but why start yourself off in a hole if you don't have to?
So how do you make a good first impression? First, you've got to carry yourself with confidence. A self-contained, self-confident man is much more attractive to a woman than a nervous, bumbling one. Of course you may not feel that confidence, but you just have to act like it's there. And the more you act the part, the more you'll really start to feel confident.

Paying Attention

The first impression will only get you so far, though. If you really want to build a rapport with a woman you just met, you're going to have to show her that you can really be attentive. This doesn't just mean listening to what she says. It means making appropriate comments at appropriate times too. 
The real secret to building rapport with women is making them feel like you're genuinely interested in what they're saying while also establishing connections between the two of you. Just be careful not to go too far. The last thing you want to seem like you're doing is turning everything they say into something about you.

Body Language

The last key to developing rapport with women is using proper body language. You may be totally unaware of what your body language is saying about you, and that's going to get you into trouble real fast. Try to keep an open position, getting close enough to hint at intimacy without making the woman feel like she's trapped. 

Secrets to Successful First Dates

We've all been there. Those dates that seem so promising and then suddenly you realize that you're not going to get a second one. It's tough enough even setting up the first date to begin with. You don't want all that effort wasted because you tried too hard or said the wrong thing.
The problem is that it's so hard to figure out where you went wrong. Was it the clothes? Too much cologne? Too many questions? There are a ton of ways to screw up a first date. Believe me – I'm guilty of making just about every first date mistake there is to make. And that's why I want to share with you the things I've learned.

Stay Cool

The best thing you can do to help your first date go smoothly is just to relax. Of course you're both nervous, but is she showing it? Right, then neither should you. It's totally natural to get excited about a first date, and to be nervous for sure. But if that's all that you show, you're not going to be giving her any way to get to know you. 

But Not Too Cool

You do want to seem interested in your date, though. Staying cool doesn't mean you shouldn't seem to be engaged in the conversation. Make eye contact and ask polite and appropriate questions. In short – act like a man because that's what she wants you to be.

Stay in the Present

One really easy way to scare a woman off is by getting ahead of yourself and hinting at marriage or kids. No good will ever come of talking about these subjects on the first date, so steer clear. Similarly, you don't want to seem too caught up in the past either. A quick anecdote from high school or college is fine here and there. 
But if that's all you're finding to contribute to the conversation, you'll be giving the distinct impression that you're only interested in reliving those glory days. In short, you'll look like you never grew up and have no life, and it's not too hard to see why that's a huge turn off.

Go Someplace Cozy

You don't have to be too over the top romantic, but your first date should definitely be in a place where you can talk. Stay away from noisy restaurants with lots of distractions. Nothing will make your first date turn awkward in a hurry like not being able to talk to each other because of noise. It can be hard enough to keep the conversation moving along without having to overcome your environment too.

Three Things to Never Say to a Woman You Just Met

Meeting women is hard – no doubt about that. So once you meet them, you don't want to send them running for the hills as soon as you open your mouth. Navigating those first few conversations and interactions can be tough, and there are no end of opportunities for you to put your foot in your mouth.
So how do you know what to say to a woman you just met? Mostly you want to seem interested in her and mature enough for a relationship (whether that's what you're looking for or not). Sounds simple enough, right? But we all know it's not that easy. 
That's because the real challenge when you're trying to get to know a woman can be figuring out what not to say. Women want so many contradictory things from a man that it's pretty much guaranteed you'll make a mistake (at least from her point of view), but there are certain mistakes that will cut you off at the knees before you even get in the door. To try and help you keep the conversation going, here are a couple of things you should never say to a woman you just met.

Kids and Marriage

This is a topic to steer clear of at all costs. It may very well be what she's looking for, but any guy who blurts out that he wants to marry a woman and have ten kids is going to get shot down real fast. There's really no good way to talk about this early on in a relationship so it's best just to stay away from it completely.

Nothing Serious

Whether you want a serious relationship or not, don't ever let on that you've never been in one. If a woman thinks you're not relationship material, you'll be out with the trash before you know what hit you.

Mommy Dearest

Moms, both yours and hers, can be crazy subjects to try and navigate. The very last thing you ever want to do is compare her to her mother. Those mother-daughter relationships are pretty intense and so complicated that you'll never find your way out of that one. 
Also, you might think that talking about your mom makes you seem sensitive, but it really will probably just make you look like a mama's boy, and that's not gonna get you many second dates. After all, no woman wants to think she'll be competing with your mommy for your affections.