We've all been there. Those dates that seem so promising and then suddenly you realize that you're not going to get a second one. It's tough enough even setting up the first date to begin with. You don't want all that effort wasted because you tried too hard or said the wrong thing.
The problem is that it's so hard to figure out where you went wrong. Was it the clothes? Too much cologne? Too many questions? There are a ton of ways to screw up a first date. Believe me – I'm guilty of making just about every first date mistake there is to make. And that's why I want to share with you the things I've learned.
Stay Cool
The best thing you can do to help your first date go smoothly is just to relax. Of course you're both nervous, but is she showing it? Right, then neither should you. It's totally natural to get excited about a first date, and to be nervous for sure. But if that's all that you show, you're not going to be giving her any way to get to know you.
But Not Too Cool
You do want to seem interested in your date, though. Staying cool doesn't mean you shouldn't seem to be engaged in the conversation. Make eye contact and ask polite and appropriate questions. In short – act like a man because that's what she wants you to be.
Stay in the Present
One really easy way to scare a woman off is by getting ahead of yourself and hinting at marriage or kids. No good will ever come of talking about these subjects on the first date, so steer clear. Similarly, you don't want to seem too caught up in the past either. A quick anecdote from high school or college is fine here and there.
But if that's all you're finding to contribute to the conversation, you'll be giving the distinct impression that you're only interested in reliving those glory days. In short, you'll look like you never grew up and have no life, and it's not too hard to see why that's a huge turn off.
Go Someplace Cozy
You don't have to be too over the top romantic, but your first date should definitely be in a place where you can talk. Stay away from noisy restaurants with lots of distractions. Nothing will make your first date turn awkward in a hurry like not being able to talk to each other because of noise. It can be hard enough to keep the conversation moving along without having to overcome your environment too.
Meeting women is hard – no doubt about that. So once you meet them, you don't want to send them running for the hills as soon as you open your mouth. Navigating those first few conversations and interactions can be tough, and there are no end of opportunities for you to put your foot in your mouth.
So how do you know what to say to a woman you just met? Mostly you want to seem interested in her and mature enough for a relationship (whether that's what you're looking for or not). Sounds simple enough, right? But we all know it's not that easy.
That's because the real challenge when you're trying to get to know a woman can be figuring out what not to say. Women want so many contradictory things from a man that it's pretty much guaranteed you'll make a mistake (at least from her point of view), but there are certain mistakes that will cut you off at the knees before you even get in the door. To try and help you keep the conversation going, here are a couple of things you should never say to a woman you just met.
Kids and Marriage
This is a topic to steer clear of at all costs. It may very well be what she's looking for, but any guy who blurts out that he wants to marry a woman and have ten kids is going to get shot down real fast. There's really no good way to talk about this early on in a relationship so it's best just to stay away from it completely.
Nothing Serious
Whether you want a serious relationship or not, don't ever let on that you've never been in one. If a woman thinks you're not relationship material, you'll be out with the trash before you know what hit you.
Mommy Dearest
Moms, both yours and hers, can be crazy subjects to try and navigate. The very last thing you ever want to do is compare her to her mother. Those mother-daughter relationships are pretty intense and so complicated that you'll never find your way out of that one.
Also, you might think that talking about your mom makes you seem sensitive, but it really will probably just make you look like a mama's boy, and that's not gonna get you many second dates. After all, no woman wants to think she'll be competing with your mommy for your affections.
